I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
