So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
