I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
