How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
