I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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