she smelled like a LAN party
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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