Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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