Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
