Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
