You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
