i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
