New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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