I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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