You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
