i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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