Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
