The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Congratulations! We have a period
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
