nut hugger
i don't like sucking hair
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
