I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
