Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
