Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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