So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
