i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
