Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
