He uses pillows to masturbate.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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