Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
