remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
