why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
MIDGETS
????
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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