needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
