you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
