I wanna passion pit in your ass
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
