apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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