if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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