He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
