No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
