good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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