it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
