i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
