ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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