found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
