Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
