no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
