My Higher Power is John Stamos
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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