He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
