ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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