"it" just moved
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
