ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
