Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just want to make out with him forever
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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