small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
