Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
